The Kitchen Is Closed

Dear Half-Man of the Year,

Bravo! You gave a man who had little understanding of offensive line play a reason to study and appreciate it.  It may sound silly to my female readers (if there are any) but anytime I learn a new way to appreciate football, I'm a happy man.

That being said, STOP LOSING WEIGHT!  I know it's wrestling season now and you've been locked in that sauna for 36 hours... but stop.  Have some Halloween candy. Challenge yourself and wrestle at a normal weight class.  You know losing weight like that is unhealthy.  And all I care about is your well-being.  I would never give you that advice out of fear for how you'll block next season if you're even skinnier than you already are.  Never.  Really.  Honestly.  Why is everyone rolling their eyes?

As far as advice for next year - I have no idea.  You could do what this guy does, as long as you hit the weights and Bongo's program.  But advice for a half-man center?  That's new territory for me.  I will say this - go be a leader with Austin and Nick.  Get everyone involved.  Spread the word of how much fun you had this season, just in case there's someone out there who didn't notice.  Also, dress like me again.  You really never looked better.  Although, I won't be held responsible for stampede of women you'll leave in your wake.

He'll Need a New Nickname

Dear First-Team, All-Dreamboat, Ships' utility player,

First things first: you can start focusing on just one position now.  Well, who knows, I suppose.  But I don't think you'll be playing QB, RB, WR, CB, holder, and playing on the kick return unit next year.  But, who knows?  For now, though, the focus will be on improving your arm strength (no, not bicep curls), accuracy, agility, speed, and making sure your threads are tight, yo.  While it was exciting watching you do your thang anytime you got in the game this season, it'll be nuts seeing you touch the ball on every offensive play next year.

We also want you to be a leader with Austin - go read the last Austin post for the specifics.  Basically, you have some big First-Team All-FRCC shoes to fill.  It'll take hard work to fill them.  Go play basketball, but when you're done, take a day week off and then join Austin and his posse in the weight room, speed and agility training, and recruiting new talent.  In addition, find any and everyone you might be throwing passes to next year and get together once, if not twice, a week and play catch.  Tanner and Pistol didn't just do what they did without practice.  The more time you spend practicing with your receivers, the more you'll understand where they'll be, where they like the ball, and when you can trust them to make a catch.  That'll lead to success on the field.  I was a defensive back, but every week, usually 3 or 4 times a week after basketball was over, our quarterback, top two wide receivers, running back, a linebacker, and four defensive backs played a smaller version of 7 on 7 in the fieldhouse after school, usually for 45 minutes to an hour, before we lifted.  We all got better for it, and took it outside when the weather got better.  You don't have to do that.  But if you can, you should.  Plus, it's a ton of fun.

Thanks again for a special season.  Thanks for those two HB option passes that were dead-on.  Thanks for the rushing touchdowns.  Thanks for plowing forward on 4th down for a 1st down during the now-famous final drive of the Homecoming game.  Thanks for playing defense in a playoff game.  But, most of all, thanks for taking my crap all year.  I kid because I care.  Here's some pretty pictures for your trouble...

Homework

To the First-Team, All-Conference defensive end:

We loved watching you play this season.  The improvement you made from game 1 to game 11 was simply magnificent.  It really was.  You came off a successful sophomore campaign only to get better and better as the days grew shorter and shorter.  But there's still a lot of work to do.  The weight room, Bongo's speed and agility program, and your work at camps this upcoming summer are, quite frankly, givens.  But you've also got to remember to keep eating.  I want your stomach to look less like Jonah's and more like mine.  You've also got stop sleeping.  No, really.  You need to do whatever it takes to break that bad habit of leaving your feet.  You can't make a play if you're on the ground.  But the most important thing you've got to do is make sure you get every real man from the classes of 2013 and 2014 into the weight room and on Bongo's program with you.  Every day.  I'm actually serious about this one.  Leaders get their teammates into the weight room.  And, while they're there, leaders make sure everyone is working and not screwing around.  Leaders also recruit new teammates.  Leaders tell these men, would you rather look like this.  Or like THIS!  You've got to be a leader.  Who knows?  Maybe next year at this time you become the first Lincoln team in years to get to Level 3 and beyond.  So much can happen in just one 9 month period.  Oh yes, only 9 months.  Your homework is due August 6, 2012.