Here Come The Ships

The cougars tell me they aren't just accomplished football players - they're also pretty cute.

Welcome back!  It's been far, far too long.  If you're new to the blog this year, I encourage you to read the initial post to get a sense of why I started doing this.  In fact, this blog was started for just two and a half people, and their parents.  10,000 page views later, it's become something else.  The popularity of the blog, combined with my new role this year, will likely change how I approach my posts this year.  But I will try and stay true to the two things that made the blog such a success last year: a celebration of the Lincoln Ships Football Team and the necessary snark to keep everyone entertained and humble.

After the jump is the only 2012 Lincoln Ships Football Preview you'll ever need to read (with apologies to the HTR).  Let's go Ships!  #ShipsPride

OhMyGodOhMyGodOhMyGodOhMyGodOhMyGodOhMyGodOhMyGodOhMyGodOhMyGodOhMyGodOhMyGodOhMyGodOhMyGodOhMyGodOhMyGodOhMyGodOhMyGodOhMyGod...  It's FOOTBALL SEASON!!!  Can you smell it?  That acrid, sweaty, musty scent?  The scent of boys becoming men.  Men becoming legends. And Bruce Springsteen continuing to rack up royalties for "Glory Days."  I love it.  I love all of it.  But mostly, I love my Lincoln Ships.

Gone are 28 Seniors.  And not just any class.  But a class filled with a Suzuki, a guy who went both ways, a Pistol, a QB Dixon, and guys who really, really loved each other.  They will be missed.  But the great thing about high school football is that every year, a group of new players step up and replace the men who left.  And this year will be no exception.

The Ships enter the season ranked in the Top Ten in Division 1.  High praise, but ultimately meaningless.  These gentlemen have to take care of business on the field.  The off season assignments were, by in large, completed.  So I expect big things from this team.

OFFENSE

At quarterback, he's number 14 on the field but number 1 in your hearts, the Swiss Army Knife himself, the first of the Two and a Half Men, is Nick.  He's one of the fastest players on the team, one of the best jumpers, and he has a laser arm.  A leader by example, he watched 150 minutes of film on Sunday, then got one of his wideouts to the bowl and practiced routes - over and over and over.  What more would any coach want from his starting quarterback?

Nick will be throwing to a cadre of unabashed vocal enthusiasts.  Matt is like a smaller, whiter version of Chad Ochocinco (and he's far less likely to head butt a girl).  No one minds much because he runs precise routes and has an uncanny ability to get separation from his defenders.  The man who came in with a nickname, Happy, has elephant lungs, long, loping strides, and the ability to climb the ladder and pluck a lob pass out of the sky.  Meanwhile, Ben blocks and takes up space in the middle of the field with the best of them.

Last year this team did not have a 1,000 yard rusher.  This year, we might have 2.  Everyone is familiar with Ethan's work, but have you seen him?  No one wants to tackle that young man.  2,000 yards is not out of the question.  At fullback, we have Lil' Dixon.  Lil' Dixon's feet are astonishingly quick for a fullback, and he's one of the best blocking fullbacks Lincoln's had in a long time.  And did I mention his hands?  Let's just say Nick will be passing to him as often as he hands off to him.

All of that is well and good, but any real football fan knows that games are won at the point of attack.  If you saw this offensive line, you'd know that they will win games at the point of attack.  The Half Man captains a unit that should produce more pancakes than the busiest IHOP in the world.  Austin will be doing double duties this year, making sure Nick's backside stays clean.  At left guard, a potential All-Conference performer returns.  Good to have you back, Loads.

Last year's team scored a lot of points.  I expect this years team to score even more.

DEFENSE

I don't want to give anything away, but philosophies like "Blood makes the grass grow.  Kill.  Kill." and "Anger. Discipline. And Hatred." do not do our defense justice.  Austin, the Load, and the Half Man will see a lot of time together on the 3 man front.  Two little scrappers, Mace and the tastefully-named Eric Berg will wreak havoc on the edge as Clay Matthews-like pass rushers.  Ethan will spell them at times, as well.  Last year's team didn't have anyone who amassed 10 or more sacks.  Once again, I expect this unit to have at least two such individuals.

Our linebacking crew brings back Professor Burnsworth and introduces us to an undersized Junior who plays with 100% heart.  Lil' Dixon will also get some run on the defensive side of the ball, and he's shown a knack for planting backs on their backs - just like last year's Hammer.  This group will clean up anything the line can't handle.

In coverage, we have a group that's as "confident" as our receiving group.  And they should be, as they possess just enough intellectual ability to handle the coverage schemes they'll be running this year.  Do we have a Mayor or a Mr. Vance in the group?  I don't know.  But I can't wait to find out.  You hear me, Alex and Mitch?

Last year's defense confused a lot of teams.  Just wait for this year's unit.

COACHES

This team is coached by the finest group of coaches that ever coached anything.  Ever.  And also the best looking.  

TWO AND A HALF MEN

As promised, Nick gets a new nickname this year.  Only one potential nickname stuck out like Bruther P teaching a tackling drill:  Lefty.  Meanwhile, I think it's time we call Austin The Rock.  Caaaaaaaan yooooooooou dig iiiiiiiiiit?

Lefty and The Rock are both being looked at, hard, by D1 schools.  If the Rock can handle it, he'll play every snap on both sides of the ball.  Lefty will get some run on defense, too.  And, as his moniker from last year indicates, it could be at any position.  Oh, I think he's punting, too.

Meanwhile, the Half Man continues to go about his business, flying under the radar on the field.  Oh, was that the Half Man telling the rest of the line what their assignments are against this defensive scheme.  Yes.  Yes it was.  Was that him knifing through the line on defense, making another play?  Yup.  He won't get the glory, but that's not his thing.  His thing in leading - no one is more vocal on this team than the Half Man.  And his other thing is getting the job done.  He'll be a Half Rock on both sides of the ball, and no one will be more dependable.

These two and a half men have really grown up over the last year.  It has been a pleasure to watch and it'll be even more fun to see the results, starting Friday.

OUTLOOK

As far as the team is concerned, there's only one game on the schedule.  The next one.  Friday happens to be a daunting task.  On the road.  Against the pre-season conference favorite, Green Bay Southwest. SW is ranked in the Top Five of Division 2 Programs.  It's led by a talented quarterback and the #2 ranked linebacker in the state (Coach Bryce Paup's son).  And we are going to crush them.  It's going to be very fun.  And if you aren't already planning on attending the game, change your plans.  Get out and support the Ships.  Because this is going to be another year where you don't want to miss a play...