Two and a Half Men: 10/15 De Pere 14 - Lincoln 34

I'm not sure why a bunch of white, teenage girls love Mexican men but, whatever.

Undefeated regular season! That is impressive. Great job to everyone on that team. We've really enjoyed the ride and can't wait for the playoffs. But before you worry about the playoffs, take the weekend and enjoy 9-0. Don't worry about 0-0 yet (that'll come Monday). Take it from me - live in the moment of this. What you've accomplished with all those countless hours in the gym, practice field, and classroom - it's just awesome!

As for the game, well, we've been spoiled. This was a 34-14 and I got the sense that some people were disappointed. That's just silly. Coming into the game, the Ships were averaging 38 points per game in conference play while giving up 10 per game. So, yes, 34-14 is slightly below average. But they were playing an opponent who averaged 16 points per game in conference play, but was giving up just 12.5 per game. We held them below their average in points scored and we wrecked their defensive average. Oh, I think it also should be noted that there were only two teams in the conference that gave up less than 14 points per game (Manitowoc and Green Bay SW). Also, there was only one team (Manitowoc) that averaged more than 34 points per game in conference (Ashwaubenon was second, scoring 28 per game). It was a good game but a long game. I guess you'll have that when the other team has 45 pass attempts (please, coaches - pretty please - put in a man cover 2... you have the athletes, just use them).

As always, the story is best told in pretty pictures. So sit back and put down the remote. I heard the camera clicking a lot this game...

The media presence added a level of gravitas to the event.

Your senior captains for the game.

Pistol, on the opening kickoff.

That line allowed Ships' backs to go for 356 rushing yards on the day. Impressive. Most impressive.

The Redbirds ran the ball 20 times for just 72 yards. Eli was one of the reasons why.

I don't know much, but I do know a little something about what it takes to be an All-State defensive back. Mr. Vance has what it takes.

This was his 5th interception in the last 3 games. Ahem.

Big Cat eat Redbird.

Love me some Suzuki.


Suzuki is listed at 175 pounds. Not sure if I buy that on his 5'9" frame but, whatever. Anyway, here he is, clearly about to be tackled as The Load looks on (GO BLOCK SOMEONE - YOU CAN SEE HIS AWESOME RUNS ON THE HIGHLIGHT FILM!) ...

HOLY CRAP! Suzuki ran that guy over and plowed into the end zone for the first of his two touchdowns on the night.

It's almost been an entire quarter since his last interception. He must be getting antsy.

Eli, with grass-stained knees, after a big sack. Don't worry, I'll wait until you get it.

The less heralded of the three "40's", Nick still caught his fair share of birds.

The Lil' Captain put on the jets trying to get to the corner on this punt return.

The ref either wants the volume up louder or thinks Pistol is lookin' fabulous!

Tanner had a rough night - just about every pass was dead-on but his receivers dropped just about everything. He did, of course, miss Pistol deep (thank God! - remember, I'm superstitious) but I didn't get a shot of it this time.

Even Suzuki can't get through that hot mess.

The slowest race down the field ever. It was like I was running the ball.

Camera. Must. Focus. Better. Next. Game.

Ref: "It's bad enough everyone yells at me. Now I gotta smell some football player's butt?"

The Mayor has legalized hitchhiking!

Not only does our quarterback outweigh that linebacker by 40 pounds, he also beat him down the field...

AND he landed on top of the 'backer!

Coach D: "Way to make 'em your bitch, son!" Tanner: "Dad, I need the play, C'mon!"

"Pass to Zack? I can't believe Pops called that."

Zach: "I can't believe he called this play for me! Weeeeeeeeee!"

This was the Pistol's 28 yard touchdown reception. I know. I can't believe they didn't get him, either.

After his 6th interception in three games, Mr. Vance sold raffle tickets, mowed the field, saved a cat from a tree, stopped a crime in progress, and cured cancer.

Even though they passed 45 times, the Hammer still pounded every nail he saw.

Wide range of emotions in that crowd.

I think Mr. Vance has earned a close-up.

Beware the Island of Austin Morreau.

You gotta hand it to the soph - he's got the wheels to get the corner.

Suzuki's second touchdown run.

It's 27-7... JUMP AROUND! (Doesn't the Short Order Cook look a little envious here? Kinda like he wants to join them?)

(Click on the picture to animate).

That close to pick number 3 on the day...

... Instead, De Pere exposed that Cover 3 again. This time for 6.

Let me guess: "UNACCEPTABLE!" ?

Only ONE blocker on Austin? Hey, Austin, I know this isn't your section but... Swim that pipsqueak and blow that quarterback up!

The most unexpected development of the night? Me using "Tyler" and "flying through the air" in the same sentence.

Suzuki, setting up Tanner's quarterback sneak touchdown in the 4th quarter.

Backup flag runner? Paige, of course.

A new man crush may be developing.

Bubba! So. Close.

And with that, the game was over. Well, almost:

(Click on the picture to animate).

OK, with that done, the regular season ended. However, it was Senior Night, so the Seniors walked the field, "one last time," hand-in-hand.

Big range of emotions here. Big Cat looks like he's yawning, the Hammer is pensive, Eli looks emotional - and Bubba is taking notice, while Pistol and Carvel are crackin' up. Probably because they have to hold hands.